Faerie Magazine Issue #24 is almost
complete and ready to print. Our goal is to have this issue to our subscribers
by the end of January 2013.
If you'd like to know more, please read on.
Faerie Magazine is experiencing the same financial climate
that most small businesses are facing. Funding is almost impossible to find,
even though we have worked with the Small Business Administration all along,
pre-approved for loans, etc. It would have been very easy to close the doors,
wrap things up and walk away instead of facing the expense of competing in the
current marketplace.
However, Faerie Magazine
provides something special (as many
others have also expressed), something that should remain. I am committed to
keeping it going and instead of making small leaps and bounds to that goal, I
have decided to take a non-traditional and much broader approach to overcome
the obstacles and open the doors to those who are interested in being a part of
the solution.
Life really was easier in black and white.
On a personal note, I would like to explain what is
happening 'behind the scenes'. Suffice to say that my personal life took a nose
dive in the beginning of 2012. Almost
losing a child almost took the wind
from my sails. It was at that same time that payroll ran dry and it became just
me, working all aspects of the business. No sane person would attempt to run
this company alone, but having no choice, I plugged away. Surely I could do
this! And plug away I did. Next issue was due soon, I had to hurry.
Three weeks later, in the beginning of May, my Mom became
suddenly ill and wanted nothing more than not to be in an institution. I gladly
cleared the only place available in my home, the Faerie Magazine offices, for
her hospice care. Four of my friends
came over and within 4 hours, the offices were cleared and my Mom was brought
to my home with full hospice equipment. My
Dad also joined her, in the clerical office, which was also cleared quickly for
this purpose. Nothing in the entire
world mattered at the time, I was watching my Mom slip away and was powerless
against this fate that would forever change the way I viewed the world. The
computers and office materials were stacked in boxes, in corners, walkways,
etc. There were moments when I could work on customer service, do a bit of
design work or editorial but my heart was heavy and I could have not been more
disenchanted. My Mom remained in my home until she passed away on July 3, 2012.
For those of you who are close to your Moms, or have had similar experiences,
you know the overwhelming heartache and how this can impede how we operate. For me, after all was said and done, and the
Faerie Magazine offices were put back together and life needed to resume as
usual, I was still disenchanted. 
My Mom and my daughter.
I made many attempts to complete the next issue, our
subscribers were waiting and this wasn't fair to them. They paid money for a
subscription and I was expected to deliver the product. And so I would. I spent
many hours compiling and designing and found it very difficult to stay on
track. I became master of avoidance. Certainly I could complete this issue and
get it out quickly! Oh, and aside from the compilation of the magazine, there
was the matter of advertising, selling it, collecting it, etc. It seemed
overwhelming and worst of all, I noticed that the magazine was not the product
I was trying to put out there, it was the product of a disenchanted woman, creating
something alone. And worse, advertisers had no money, how was I to pay for the
print? I simply had to try harder. So try harder I did.
Once I noticed that so much time was passing, I knew I
needed help. I was still very upset about losing my Mom and now I was
overwhelmed. I thought about writing an email to subscribers to let them know
what was happening but then decided that nobody wanted to hear my sob story,
just keep going and work harder. Or, find a way to work smarter. I went to a
psychiatrist and got medication to help me focus and move forward. I needed to manage
my business effectively. I talked to our distributor for Barnes and Noble, who reminded
me that Faerie Magazine is a very successful product. They have always wanted
many more copies of the magazine than we could ever afford to send them. I also
would occasionally talk to subscribers who called the office and always heard
the same thing, "Please don't stop making Faerie Magazine, just let us
know what is happening". With words of encouragement, I plugged away. There is also the matter of Mermaids, and Pirates Magazine, both waiting in the wings.
How could it possibly be that after 7 years of successful beautiful publications, I could be in such a position? Each day of losing time meant the goal slipped away even more. I had to make a decision. The decision was that Faerie Magazine must go on, I know that it has meaning and value to many. I proceeded to look for funding, ways to pay people to do what I currently wasn't able to do. In the meantime, I would print Issue #24 and at least our subscribers would be assured that this was not a hoax, a rip off or an ill intent, as subscriptions were still available on our website.
I found a funding program, downloaded the 28 page
application and began to fill it out. But oh, that meant I had to make sure the
tax returns were up to date, and 2011 wasn't. Oh. No money for the accountant. Mind you, this is all my problem, my business,
my responsibility. It was overwhelming.
I reached out to a few people who were all willing and happy
to help, and for no pay - simply to help achieve this goal of moving forward.
So wonderful are they!
The most revealing fact that came with the turmoil of 2012
is that I am the one who holds the vision of what our readers want. In my absence, there is nobody who can/will
take my place. It is a bit charming yet very overwhelming. When I became psychologically
unable to produce enchantment, there was nobody to take my place. Given the
right circumstances, I could have overseen the project but not fully participate.
I was stuck in a maze of overwhelming
emotion and sadness. This must change as I am a human and the business must go
on.
Additionally, I am well aware that to compete in today's
marketplace, Faerie Magazine must and will be available digitally. Had I borrowed
the funds and printed a disenchanted version of Faerie Magazine, it would have
been a bad move for two reasons. 1. Not the real Faerie Magazine and 2. Any
funds put forth (as meager as they are) must ensure growth.
My beautiful Mama.
Solutions
I believe money is to be earned. I am contacting 25
businesses and artists concerning advertising, asking for support, a win-win
situation. I have a few other ideas about how to raise money to pay for some of
the business matters which must be addressed such as customer service, submissions,
accounting, etc. As I move forward, I will post progress on this blog. I will keep everyone informed of the nice things that are happening as I reach out for solutions.I am working my way back to feeling the enchantment and so excited to share the empowerment that comes from endurance and resolve of one small business, actually one person, who is committed to conquer the seemingly impossible. I am open to ideas of empowerment of any kind.
If you'd like to be part of the solution, please leave a comment below or email me at Kim@faeriemagazine.com. I am seeking positivity, encouragment and empowerment.
To our subscribers, you will be rewarded for your patience
and tolerance, I promise you this.
To those in the industry to might be able to help, I can, in exchange, provide a portal to a very large demographic of readers who are sincere, compassionate and kind. Our readers are looking for enchantment, and they are patiently waiting.
And to my Mama, who instilled all the proper components of
being a good person, and who taught me that I can achieve my goals if handled
with integrity and honesty, I will make you proud!
