Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Walk a mile in my small publisher shoes...

Faerie Magazine Issue #24 is almost complete and ready to print. Our goal is to have this issue to our subscribers by the end of January 2013.

If you'd like to know more, please read on.
Faerie Magazine is experiencing the same financial climate that most small businesses are facing. Funding is almost impossible to find, even though we have worked with the Small Business Administration all along, pre-approved for loans, etc. It would have been very easy to close the doors, wrap things up and walk away instead of facing the expense of competing in the current marketplace.
However,  Faerie Magazine provides something special  (as many others have also expressed), something that should remain. I am committed to keeping it going and instead of making small leaps and bounds to that goal, I have decided to take a non-traditional and much broader approach to overcome the obstacles and open the doors to those who are interested in being a part of the solution.


 Life really was easier in black and white.

On a personal note, I would like to explain what is happening 'behind the scenes'. Suffice to say that my personal life took a nose dive in the beginning of 2012. Almost losing a child almost took the wind from my sails. It was at that same time that payroll ran dry and it became just me, working all aspects of the business. No sane person would attempt to run this company alone, but having no choice, I plugged away. Surely I could do this! And plug away I did. Next issue was due soon, I had to hurry.
Three weeks later, in the beginning of May, my Mom became suddenly ill and wanted nothing more than not to be in an institution. I gladly cleared the only place available in my home, the Faerie Magazine offices, for her hospice care.  Four of my friends came over and within 4 hours, the offices were cleared and my Mom was brought to my home with full hospice equipment.  My Dad also joined her, in the clerical office, which was also cleared quickly for this purpose.  Nothing in the entire world mattered at the time, I was watching my Mom slip away and was powerless against this fate that would forever change the way I viewed the world. The computers and office materials were stacked in boxes, in corners, walkways, etc. There were moments when I could work on customer service, do a bit of design work or editorial but my heart was heavy and I could have not been more disenchanted. My Mom remained in my home until she passed away on July 3, 2012. For those of you who are close to your Moms, or have had similar experiences, you know the overwhelming heartache and how this can impede how we operate.  For me, after all was said and done, and the Faerie Magazine offices were put back together and life needed to resume as usual, I was still disenchanted.

My Mom and my daughter.

I made many attempts to complete the next issue, our subscribers were waiting and this wasn't fair to them. They paid money for a subscription and I was expected to deliver the product. And so I would. I spent many hours compiling and designing and found it very difficult to stay on track. I became master of avoidance. Certainly I could complete this issue and get it out quickly! Oh, and aside from the compilation of the magazine, there was the matter of advertising, selling it, collecting it, etc. It seemed overwhelming and worst of all, I noticed that the magazine was not the product I was trying to put out there, it was the product of a disenchanted woman, creating something alone. And worse, advertisers had no money, how was I to pay for the print? I simply had to try harder. So try harder I did. 
Once I noticed that so much time was passing, I knew I needed help. I was still very upset about losing my Mom and now I was overwhelmed. I thought about writing an email to subscribers to let them know what was happening but then decided that nobody wanted to hear my sob story, just keep going and work harder. Or, find a way to work smarter. I went to a psychiatrist and got medication to help me focus and move forward. I needed to manage my business effectively. I talked to our distributor for Barnes and Noble, who reminded me that Faerie Magazine is a very successful product. They have always wanted many more copies of the magazine than we could ever afford to send them. I also would occasionally talk to subscribers who called the office and always heard the same thing, "Please don't stop making Faerie Magazine, just let us know what is happening". With words of encouragement, I plugged away.
There is also the matter of Mermaids, and Pirates Magazine, both waiting in the wings.
How could it possibly be that after 7 years of successful beautiful publications, I could be in such a position? Each day of losing time meant the goal slipped away even more. I had to make a decision. The decision was that Faerie Magazine must go on, I know that it has meaning and value to many. I proceeded to look for funding, ways to pay people to do what I currently wasn't able to do. In the meantime, I would print Issue #24 and at least our subscribers would be assured that this was not a hoax, a rip off or an ill intent, as subscriptions were still available on our website.

I found a funding program, downloaded the 28 page application and began to fill it out. But oh, that meant I had to make sure the tax returns were up to date, and 2011 wasn't. Oh. No money for the accountant.  Mind you, this is all my problem, my business, my responsibility. It was overwhelming.

I reached out to a few people who were all willing and happy to help, and for no pay - simply to help achieve this goal of moving forward. So wonderful are they!
The most revealing fact that came with the turmoil of 2012 is that I am the one who holds the vision of what our readers want.  In my absence, there is nobody who can/will take my place. It is a bit charming yet very overwhelming. When I became psychologically unable to produce enchantment, there was nobody to take my place. Given the right circumstances, I could have overseen the project but not fully participate.  I was stuck in a maze of overwhelming emotion and sadness. This must change as I am a human and the business must go on.

Additionally, I am well aware that to compete in today's marketplace, Faerie Magazine must and will be available digitally. Had I borrowed the funds and printed a disenchanted version of Faerie Magazine, it would have been a bad move for two reasons. 1. Not the real Faerie Magazine and 2. Any funds put forth (as meager as they are) must ensure growth.
My beautiful Mama.
Now, my Mom has been gone for 6 months and I realize that I can make it. It is in her honor and my resolve to overcome any obstacles that stand in the way of producing Faerie Magazine, Issue #24.  I am a strong woman, with more knowledge and wisdom that I had 6 months ago. Instead of being knocked down, I am empowered. I have come up with creative solutions to obstacles. They are non traditional methods of achieving success. Tough times call for tough measures.

I believe money is to be earned. I am contacting 25 businesses and artists concerning advertising, asking for support, a win-win situation. I have a few other ideas about how to raise money to pay for some of the business matters which must be addressed such as customer service, submissions, accounting, etc.  As I move forward, I will post progress on this blog. I will keep everyone informed of the nice things that are happening as I reach out for solutions.

I am working my way back to feeling the enchantment and so excited to share the empowerment that comes from endurance and resolve of one small business, actually one person, who is committed to conquer the seemingly impossible.  I am open to ideas of empowerment of any kind.
If you'd like to be part of the solution, please leave a comment below or email me at Kim@faeriemagazine.com. I am seeking positivity, encouragment and empowerment.

To our subscribers, you will be rewarded for your patience and tolerance, I promise you this.
To those in the industry to might be able to help, I can, in exchange, provide a portal to a very large demographic of readers who are sincere, compassionate and kind. Our readers are looking for enchantment, and they are patiently waiting.
And to my Mama, who instilled all the proper components of being a good person, and who taught me that I can achieve my goals if handled with integrity and honesty, I will make you proud!


  1. Hang in there and good luck. I lost my daddy almost two years ago and keeping things going has been a chore.

    1. Thanks Willow Walker! Best of wishes to you too!

  2. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I cannot even fathom what you have gone through this year.

    I was just over at my parent's home for New Years yesterday and my mother asked me about your magazine (I had purchased a subscription for her for mother's day at Spoutwood last year and she hadn't received any issues yet). I told her I knew nothing about it and would find out for her today and lo and behold, you post this just hours before I begin looking around. The universe must be lining something up for you this year! You were certainly in our thoughts these last few day.

    I am a stay at home mom to an (almost) 1 year old but I used to be a freelance graphic designer. Not sure how I could help, but I feel compelled to at least offer something. Feel free to contact me via Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joaniecostlow

    Stay strong. My family will be sending lots of good energy to you and yours. :-)

    1. Thanks so much Joanie, your words of encouragement really do help. I was first afraid of starting this adventure but am now embracing it. I'm going to be blogging about kindness and compassion, may I list you as one who stepped forward?

    2. Of course, Kim. What kind of community would we be without kindess and compassion?!

      I am very close to my mother and my husband lost his when he was only 16. Your willingness to forge onward through your pain for your loyal readers is truly a testament to your strength and dedication.

      Again, if there is any way I can help, please let me know!

  3. Greetings Kim,
    As the new year begins, I wanted to send you my very best wishes for recapturing the enchantment once again...
    I admire your strength to go forward with life and your magical magazine.
    I agree with your sentiment about life was really easy in black and white.
    If somehow my paintings can give you a twinkle or two of happiness and inspiration to go on, I will be delighted.
    Hope and peace for a beautiful year,

    1. Hi Erika,
      I went to your site, your paintings are lovely! I especially love the Prague painting. It did provide a few twinkles!
      Thanks for the well wishes! I love the term "recapturing the enchantment". I'm going to blog about the 'journey' and might call it that!
      Onward, and thanks again Erika!

    2. So glad you visited the site dear Kim ... it made me smile...
      There is a wonderful german artist named Zulamith Wulfing
      that could help you recapture the enchantment thru her wondrous
      other worldly visions of fairies and angels...
      I am always here if you ever need me...
      Can't believe is February already...
      Keep on dreaming,
      All the best

  4. Hi Kim. Phone or email me if there's anything I can do to help. I have an assortment of skills, and would be glad to do what I can for you & the lovely Faerie Magazine. In CA at the moment visiting daughter & new granddaughter. I'll be home over the weekend. Don't worry, the magic remains in your heart -- you just need to rediscover it. :-) Sending every good wish your way - Vonnie

  5. Hi Kim,
    I empathize with you so much.
    I almost lost both parents to heat stroke this year and closed my business during the summer to get them back on their feet. I am so sorry for your loss, but glad you had the opportunity to spend those last days with your mother. No magazine, no job on earth, could replace those precious moments you had with your dear mother.
    Sending much good energy your way and hoping for much prosperity, good health, peace and joy throughout this coming year.

  6. This time, we got the following crossword puzzle clue :
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    Here are other similar crossword definitions:
    Bone of contention ;
    Twelfth of a subscription, often ,
    People produces a new one weekly ;
    Come forth or bring out ;
    for read more please click:

  7. Dear Kim,
    It is very inspiring to hear about your perseverance through such a difficult time. I congratulate you for all the hard work you've done moving forward. I know how hard it can be to keep your sense of enchantment and wonder when this world is so heavy and grinds you down. It reminds me of a quote from Yeats poem.
    "Come away human child to the waters and the wild 
    with a faerie hand in hand,  for the world's more full of weeping than you can understand." 
    ~W.B. Yeats
    I have loved Faerie Magazine since the moment I first discovered it in Barnes and Nobles. It was beautifully designed and full of enchanting articles. It was also heartening to know there were other faerie lovers out there. That I wasn't a weirdo clinging to something childish. Faerie was alive and deeper than any Disney tinkerbell.

    I am now an artist who's work is inspired by faerie folklore and nature. If there is any way I can help with the revival of Faerie Magazine do not hesitate to contact me. I also have experience in graphic design and would love to offer my help with layout, or designs. I understand you are just getting back on your feet.
    I am thankful to faerie Magazine for all the inspiration it gave me growing up and feel called to give back and offer my help.
    Faerie Blessings
    My email addy is autumnrozario@yahoo.com and here's my website if you wish to see if my art fits your vision for Faerie Magazine